The Silent Angels Soundtrack- Closing Credits Track and what it’s all about.

Slipknot-Snuff

Lead singer Corey Taylor (from Kerrang! July 19, 2008): “This is the slow one. It’s another personal one. Again, not naming names, it’s about someone who helped me through a lot and I thought she felt the same way that I did and then she really let me down. At the same time, it was good that she did, because it was that final push to me figuring out myself. The lyrics are pretty self-explanatory.”

The Silent Angels is part tragic love story, part journey of self awareness. These two merge to deliver a potent trip down the dark deserted lane of unrequited love and the lies and deceit that can exist between best friends when the lies and betrayal are kept in the shadows in order to protect the delicate shell of the friendship group.

The Lyrics:

Bury all your secrets in my skin
Come away with innocence, and leave me with my sins
The air around me still feels like a cage
And love is just a camouflage for what resembles rage again

So if you love me, let me go.
And run away before I know.
My heart is just too dark to care.
I can’t destroy what isn’t there.
Deliver me into my fate, if I’m alone I cannot hate
I don’t deserve to have you
My smile was taken long ago, if I can change I hope I never know

I still press your letters to my lips
And cherish them in parts of me that savor every kiss
I couldn’t face a life without your light
But all of that was ripped apart, when you refused to fight

So save your breath, I will not care.
I think I made it very clear.
You couldn’t hate enough to love.
Is that supposed to be enough?
I only wish you weren’t my friend.
Then I could hurt you in the end.
I never claimed to be a saint
My own was banished long ago, it took the death of hope to let you go

So break yourself against my stones
And spit your pity in my soul
You never needed any help
You sold me out to save yourself
And I won’t listen to your shame
You ran away, you’re all the same
Angels lie to keep control
My love was punished long ago
If you still care, don’t ever let me know
If you still care, don’t ever let me know

So, who figured themselves out most in my novel? The dynamics of the friendships are:

Lee. He is in love with Casey in that he is excited by her and she challenges him, being headstrong and a little elusive, he finds her dangerous and addictive. Chloe is in love with him, but he doesn’t see this at all. She is like a sister to him (or so we are lead to believe in the book), but he feels closer to her than he does to Casey as they are similar in character and she compliments/understands him.

Simon. At first he sees Casey as another of his conquests. He likes people to think he’s a free spirit who doesn’t want to be tied down. He wants to experience everything in life and this means not letting feelings get in the way as they are a trap. But as Casey is still obviously very in love with Lee, he saves face by never admitting his feelings have grown. The more he craves her, the more he makes up bullshit to keep her at arms length. But then, the more she starts to want him.

Could this song relate to Simon and Casey?

Casey, without realising it helps Simon out a lot. Superficially, she saves him from the misery of Annabelle’s recent rejection as he focusses on her instead, even though at first he thinks she’s totally out of reach being his best mate’s girlfriend.  But when she starts flirting with him, he can’t help himself-his own ego and need for reassurance leads him to tell Casey how he feels and that he wants her. She seems to feel the same and they innocently flirt for a while until Simon makes his move on her and they kiss. Casey’s resistance is weakened as she thinks Lee has been sleeping with Annabelle, so Simon is part revenge and part reassurance that she’s still attractive. As she convinces herself more and more that Lee doesn’t love her and never has, she starts to want more than a grope and snog with Si. She starts getting to know him AND THEY TALK ABOUT ANXIETY, DEPRESSION AND ALL THINGS SI NEEDS TO DISCUSS  so thinking of him as a potential boyfriend. Meanwhile, she’s still hurting about Lee and trying to keep it all hushed up inside as she usually does, and Si can see this. He gets to the point where he doesn’t care about his friendship with Lee, he just wants Casey.  He’s in love with her. They fight because every time he works up courage to admit how he feels, something happens and he realises again that she really loves Lee. He then finds himself lying to her again by warning her off, saying he’s not relationship material.

So save your breath, I will not care.
I think I made it very clear.

He puts his defences up and so does she and they can’t get by this barrier.

So if you love me, let me go.
And run away before I know.
My heart is just too dark to care.
I can’t destroy what isn’t there.
Deliver me into my fate, if I’m alone I cannot hate
I don’t deserve to have you
My smile was taken long ago, if I can change I hope I never know

They are very similar and share the bond of understanding that Lee and Chloe share so they genuinely miss each other.

I still press your letters to my lips
And cherish them in parts of me that savor every kiss

 

She has also made him realise that love doesn’t have to be a cage as with her he feels free to be himself. But it hurts so much not being able to get her to admit how she feels and the love starts causing him claustrophobia and anger again. What she dispelled comes back to crush him.

The air around me still feels like a cage
And love is just a camouflage for what resembles rage again

Near the end, when Lee finds out about their betrayal, Simon is willing to be honest and admit how he feels, that it’s not just lust. He thinks Casey will too, but she lets him down by accusing him of coming on to her.

I couldn’t face a life without your light
But all of that was ripped apart, when you refused to fight

She shows her weakness and selfishness as she isn’t willing to think beyond her own needs and stand up for Simon and Lee’s friendship. As long as she comes out looking like the one who did no wrong, that’s all she cares about.

Bury all your secrets in my skin
Come away with innocence, and leave me with my sins.

You never needed any help
You sold me out to save yourself

 

Simon wishes he could hate her but he can’t. As well as being in love with her, he still cherishes the friendship and closeness they had.

I only wish you weren’t my friend.
Then I could hurt you in the end.

He never wanted to lie to Lee. He was aching to be honest, as Lee would have wanted and forgiven, but she didn’t follow through on her side. Simon always tried to be honest about himself and his flaws and weaknesses. He thought he saw a kindred spirit in Casey, someone who would explore human behaviour with him and embrace her dark side. But when it came down to it she wasn’t self assured enough to stand up and admit her weakness for him and her bad behaviour. The hope that he had found this kindred spirit at last was lost when he watched her walk back into Lee’s arms, embracing lies between them.

I never claimed to be a saint
My own was banished long ago, it took the death of hope to let you go

He sees her as broken after she goes back to Lee. Her spirit and sense of adventure destroyed in the banal comfortable love they share that is now based on lies as Lee doesn’t know the Casey that Simon found deep inside her. She accuses Simon of being the betrayer and behaves as though they should all feel sorry for him. He’s got PTSD and needs help. He has become hard again so not to curl up and die from her actions and his friend’s misplaced pity which should be for Casey.

So break yourself against my stones
And spit your pity in my soul

Simon doesn’t want to call her out, although his pride tempts him to. although he has the right to tell Lee and his friends the truth, he cares about Casey and decides it’s better to let them blame him and be ok than tell them the truth and cause more fighting. Casey tries to talk to him and make him understand why she sold him out, but he’s too hurt and resigned. Love only hurts.

And I won’t listen to your shame
You ran away, you’re all the same

He hates what she did but can understand it. She was just trying to control things so as not to lose the one she loves. She can control Lee that’s why she feels comfortable with him.

He would have betrayed anyone to save his own face too not long ago, but he has changed. He has evolved. He can’t hate her because she was the catalyst for that change and really, falling for and fooling around with your best mate’s girl is a sin. This is his punishment.

Angels lie to keep control
My love was punished long ago

They will all stay friends and he will have to watch her be a couple with Lee. It will torture him, but he will sleep at night as long as she never comes to him and says she misses him, that she chose the wrong boy.

If you still care, don’t ever let me know.