Saturday 2nd August.
I could see Annabelle’s sour face glaring at me through the rear view mirror the entire journey from our house to the abandoned building. I told her I needed to spend time with Case and that I wouldn’t be able to come running whenever she needed a shoulder to cry on. She knows I love her and will always be there for her, but sometimes it pisses me off when people like her forget I have a life too.
I could’ve cut the tension with a knife in that car. Si was sat next to me all hunched up staring out the window with a mard on as usual. I tried to talk to him this morning about his project, that it would be ok, we would all make sure he got it done and submitted to Mr. Cooper in two weeks time, on the dot. He spent the whole time smoking out the window leaving the bloody window down, freezing the car out, but I didn’t mind, it was a good excuse to cuddle up to Case. God I’ve missed her. It’s going to be awesome being with her away from her Mum and Dad and not having to climb up that frickin dead tree every night to be with her.
No one spoke much. Annabelle was obviously pissed off with me. I hate it when she gets like that, it upsets me because I am always the one who she turns to and I have never given her cause to be so bitter about Casey coming. I have explained, Case is cool and she needs to try talking to her instead of thinking of her suspiciously and being childish. I am in a relationship with Case not her, therefore she needs to give us space. I’m still here for her, what more does she want?
Joel was in the front seat trying to get Annabelle’s CDs out of the side pocket so he could hide them. He hates her music and she hates his. There was no compromise going on, they just kept grabbing out at the CDs trying to take charge of the road trip entertainment. That was the only thing going on except me and Casey whispering private little jokes in each other’s ears. I don’t mind The Chili Peppers but Si hates them and so does Joel. It was funny when Joel managed to liberate the Californication CD and chuck it at Si’s head. It’s in a field somewhere now and Anna’s well steamed. We got to listen to Joel’s indie stuff the rest of the way, which didn’t help the atmos between everyone. Not a great start, I hope everyone lightens up a bit. I wished Chloe had come with us but she had to stay late at the Boutique to help her Mum with some back- logged orders. She would have known how to snap everyone out of their wallowing.
I just want to help Si out with this project, get it done and out of the way so we can all chill. It has been tough for him after his accident, not being able to work on anything and withdrawing into himself. I wish he would get some Counselling because I don’t feel I’m ready to take on something as profound as his issues, besides we’re not meant to counsel friends and family. I can see what he needs but he insists that he’s fine. He so isn’t. But, one thing we have been taught on my course is that we can’t work with anyone who doesn’t want to, or doesn’t admit they have issues. Si knows but he is being stubborn so all I can do is wait it out, help him get this done and then start having some fun. Then he might relax a bit and let himself grieve and most importantly, open up to his buddies again.
It has been a tough 6 months for all of us. I just hope we can all enjoy this two weeks of freedom somehow. I hope that Casey enjoys it and that we can spend some quality time together on our own as well as with my guys. I worry that she won’t try and get to know them, she tends to be a bit tentative meeting new people and comes across as being cold, which she so isn’t. I have tried to talk to her about it but she says it takes her time to trust. Fair enough, but I know she will love my mates if she gives them a chance. It’s really important to me that they like her as well.
I am worrying too much about things again as usual. It’s just that Anna’s difficult I mean, when we’re at Uni me and her have a lot of time together and we talk and she seems ok, but as soon as I mention Case she goes all possessive, saying that she won’t see me for days and who will she talk to about her ‘stuff’ etc etc. Simon, well I’m worried about him for good reason and it’s only Chlo who seems concerned about him too. Bless Chlo, she always worries about people as well, me and her are similar in that. At least I can talk to her about stuff inside my head, she gets me and never takes the piss like Si and Joel do, calling me ‘Candy-ass Dez’ and all those numbskull names. There’s nothing wrong with caring. Just that sometimes it gets too much, it takes all my energy and I think, you know what? Sort out your own crap. But of course I can’t.